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Why the NFL Needs an Anti-Super Bowl
“For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction”
Each year, as the two best teams in the NFL prepare for the Super Bowl, the worst teams are twiddling their thumbs, waiting for the next season to begin, thirsting for a chance to prove that they aren’t as bad as their record would suggest. Iconic virgin Isaac Newton famously wrote, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” There’s no reason that this concept shouldn’t apply to the NFL as well. What the league needs in the weeks between the conference championships and the Big Game is a bizarro playoffs that culminates in an annual Anti-Super Bowl.
I began to understand the need for an additional postseason tournament while watching this year’s Pro Bowl, which is supposed to provide football fans entertainment before the biggest game of the year. It was a total snoozefest. It didn’t seem like anyone was really trying to win and there wasn’t even tackling for fuck’s sake!
I was not the only one who was vexed by the whole experience. “This is so weird and sad,” one friend wrote in the group chat. “It’s the dumbest shit every year,” another friend replied. Sports Illustrated called it “a glorified game of two-hand touch.” Former player Deion Sanders also seemed exasperated about the mildness of the affair. “Lord help…
