How the “West Wing” Theme Song (Briefly) Ruined My Life

And how I managed to find peace.

The story of how the “West Wing” theme song ruined my life is actually pretty cute. It was 2020 and my fiancé Hudson and I were watching a lot, a lot, a lot of TV. We began a new tradition, where, if the show we were watching had a theme song without lyrics, we would take turns making up songs during the opening credits. We started doing this with “Law & Order,” naturally. (After all, it has one of the best television themes of all time.) Then came “Criminal Minds,” a supremely dumb procedural with a theme song that was so discordant, it was a struggle for me (hopelessly tone deaf) to sing along. My go-to lyrics were, “It’s criminal crimes / It’s criminal crimes / They must be criminal / The crimes, the minds,” and Hudson would often laugh at my inability to match up my words with the melody.

Watching lots of television is a mind-numbing experience, which is part of the appeal. I love TV, don’t get me wrong, but seven episodes of “Criminal Minds” later, it starts to feel kinda depressing. Eschewing the “Skip Intro” button and instead, making up a song, infuses the experience with much needed flavor.

When we decided to revisit “The West Wing,” I immediately fell in love with its Emmy™-winning theme song, in all its orchestral splendor. My…