How I Overcame My Fear of the Ocean
I did it for love?
After years of pandemic-related hunkering down, a swim in the ocean at a beautiful Hawaiian beach might feel like a dream to most people. To me, it was terrifying. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been afraid of the ocean, but it was a gorgeous day in Kailua — the sun was sparkly as ever and the air was warm and salty — and not partaking in ocean fun felt almost disrespectful to the state of Hawaii and the very concept of being human. I took a few deep breaths and placed our belongings on a ledge a few dozen feet from the shore. “This is gonna be fun, right?” I asked my fiancé Hudson. Of course, he told me. I grabbed his hand tightly and said, “Let’s do it.”
It all started when I was five years old. I was swimming in the bay on Fire Island while my mom and godfather sat on the beach reading, intermittently looking up to make sure the kiddos were OK. I was having a blast splashing about by myself, when my head fell under, and I took a big gulp of water. Having lost control of my body, I began to panic. It’s my first memory of feeling like I was literally going to die. Wildly flapping my arms about, I managed to pull myself up, and then threw up a mix of salt water and the lunch I had eaten several hours earlier.
I frantically and quickly made my way back to shore, and sat next to my mom, shivering…
